If you have a 1/2" drive socket you can use a Drive x 1-1/2 inch socket. The socket's opening will fit the hex end on all standard residential water heater elements. To remove a water heater element without an element wrench, you simply place the 1-1/2 socket over the head of the heating element.
When selecting element, buy same wattage or less wattage keep volts the same. It is ok to install higher watt up to 5500 on 4500 watt heater if breaker is 30 amp and wire is 10 gauge. It is ok to install lower watt: replace 4500 with 3500 as long as voltage is same.