As our rough calculations above have shown, no — non-alcoholic beer absolutely cannot get you drunk. In fact, the number of beers a person would need to consume in order to get drunk off of non-alcoholic beer is greater than the amount of water a person could drink without potentially fatal consequences.
Heineken 0.0 truly has 0% alcohol, a perk for anyone who is avoiding even small quantities of alcohol. Many of the popular alcohol-free beers actually have a small amount, such as Beck's Blue and Bitburger Drive, each of which has 0.05%.
To be clear, NA beer does contain some alcohol, though it's generally less than 0.5% ABV. Whether you're pregnant, can't drink, won't drink, need to operate heavy machinery, or simply don't want a hangover tomorrow morning, here are 12 bottles of near-beer to try.